of US women have experienced contact sexual violence in their lifetime. So have 16.9% of men.
CDC NISVS 2023/2024. Includes rape, attempted rape, sexual coercion, and unwanted sexual contact.More in StatsEvery story here can be someone else's near miss.
Lessons on staying safe, not causing harm, and stepping in to help, for every age.
Free guides for parents, teens, adults and schools, built from reputable sources, with real stories from people who've been there. From age 3 to adulthood.
What this site teaches
Most harmful situations involve three people: the person at risk, the person who could cause the harm, and the people who see it happening. We teach all three roles. Pick an example to see how they fit.
The person it's happening toSomeone too drunk to stand is being steered toward a bedroom.Protect yourselfHow to notice warning signs and get out of situations that feel wrong.The person who could cause harmThe person steering them.Check yourselfHow to make sure you never cause harm, even without meaning to.The people watchingThe friends who see it.Step inHow to help safely when you see something wrong happening.
The person it's happening toA woman can't get a stranger to leave her alone.Protect yourselfHow to notice warning signs and get out of situations that feel wrong.The person who could cause harmThe man who won't take the hint.Check yourselfHow to make sure you never cause harm, even without meaning to.The people watchingEveryone else in the carriage.Step inHow to help safely when you see something wrong happening.
The person it's happening toA photo of a classmate is about to be shared.Protect yourselfHow to notice warning signs and get out of situations that feel wrong.The person who could cause harmThe one about to hit forward.Check yourselfHow to make sure you never cause harm, even without meaning to.The people watchingEveryone else in the chat.Step inHow to help safely when you see something wrong happening.
The person it's happening toA kid is being picked on.Protect yourselfHow to notice warning signs and get out of situations that feel wrong.The person who could cause harmThe kid doing the picking.Check yourselfHow to make sure you never cause harm, even without meaning to.The people watchingThe kids watching.Step inHow to help safely when you see something wrong happening.
Teach these concepts at different ages
Choose who you're teaching. For children under 14, the lessons are written for parents to share at home: a short talk, questions to ask, and an activity. From 14, guides are written to teens and adults directly, with conversation guides for the parents and teachers around them.
Learn from real stories
Real story. No AI was used to write it.For teens and adultsStacy's near miss: the job interviewDraft · DraftingWhat these stories are
People describe what happened, what they noticed, and what helped. No AI writes them.
Read all storiesWhy it's called The Near Miss Project
A near miss is something that almost went wrong. In the stories here, someone noticed a warning sign, acted, or was helped in time, and in some, they weren't. Sharing what happened, and what made the difference, helps the next person see it coming. That's the idea behind the name: every story here can be someone else's near miss.
Why it matters
National surveys count the harm that happened. They don't count the times it almost did, or what stopped it.
of sexual assaults had a moment beforehand when a bystander could have stepped in.
Haikalis et al., Violence Against Women, 2018. 427 women aged 18–25. Alcohol was common in these settings, for everyone involved.More in StatsHow one lesson builds from age 3 to adulthood
Each lesson comes back every few years with more depth, so it becomes instinct rather than a single talk. Here's how respecting other people's boundaries develops by age.
- 3–5Ask first, stop means stop
- 6–9Teasing or hurting?
- 10–13Don't forward it, don't pile on
- 14–18Consent, in plain words
- 18+When you were 20, your brain was different
Why it starts at three
of women who have been raped were first raped before age 18.
CDC NISVS 2016/2017. The newest survey hasn't published age data yet.More in StatsWhere the information comes from
Stories from real peopleEvery story is told by the person it happened to or the person who acted, or was published by them elsewhere and is credited. No AI writes, edits or summarises a story.
Guidance from reputable sourcesLessons and guides are based on pediatric, public-health, child-safety and research organisations, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics and the CDC. Every claim is numbered to its source.
Reviewed before it's publishedAI helps gather and organise the research. Stacy Willis checks every claim against its source before a page goes live.
Every statistic on this site, with its source and when it was last checked, is on Stats. An AI-assisted check compares them against their sources every month, and every change is approved by Stacy Willis.
How this site is madeWhy Stacy Willis started this site · draft
“I started this after a life lessons talk with my own kids. I was raised to stand up for myself, I wasn't a big partier, and I still had two near misses in my early twenties. For a lot of people, it isn't a near miss. I want more people to see it coming, and more people to step in when they do.”Stacy Willis · Read why this exists
Last updated [not yet reviewed]Reviewed by Stacy WillisGuides are summarized from public sources with the help of AI. Stories are real and no AI was used to write them.How this site is made